Sunday, October 20, 2013


Karma isn't a hard concept to grasp. What goes around comes around, easy, right?
Treat others the way you'd like to be treated. It's all the same general idea. So why is it so hard to get?
Do we blame society? Our friends? Our teachers? Our parents?
No, that can't be right. Because these are our thoughts. They are our actions. We are old enough to choose our own paths, to think our own thoughts, to know right from wrong and to know how to act. Therefore we cannot blame others for our wrongs, we can only blame ourselves.
So I guess that's the first step to changing your karma. Take responsibility for your actions.

Old habits die hard. I used to make a point to be, well, an asshole, for lack of a better word. I literally, at one point in my life, went out of my way to make other people feel bad. It made me feel better, if only temporarily. Was it worth it? No. Not at all. For one, I still to this day feel guilty for the things I said and did to other people. This was 6, 7, 8 years ago and I still feel awful. And these were people I barely knew, people I will never see again, people I will never have the chance to apologize to. 
These people did nothing wrong to me. I was just, frankly, an asshole.
Now I could give you every excuse in the book for why I acted the way I did, but that doesn't justify my actions. It doesn't make them right or okay or any less horrible. I honestly think I am still getting my karma for what I did, and that's okay. It sucks, yeah, but it's going to happen. I'm responsible for what I said and what I did, no one else. Not the people who made me feel badly, because even though they made me feel that way they didn't make me treat others badly. That was my choice.
That said, I've completely changed since then. I made bad decisions then, but I try to do better now, and I think that's largely due to becoming a mother. When I had Noah, I never wanted to see him treated that way. I never wanted anyone to say to him the things I said to people I hardly knew. That's when I decided to change who I was trying to be.
I don't think anyone deserves to be mistreated. I don't think anyone deserves to be judged. I don't think anyone deserves to be made to feel badly about themselves.
I guess I've become a hippie of sorts. I'm okay with that.
But I believe these are basic human rights. Everyone deserves to love who they are, to be treated fairly and to be treated well, and to live the life they want to live without being judged for doing so.
I guess I'm straying from the topic, though.

Basically, you get what you give.
If you're putting out bad energy, you're going to receive bad energy. If you're putting out good energy, you'll receive good energy. It's a simple concept. However, that's not to say that every single bad thing that happens to you is a result of you doing something wrong.
Bad experiences can be learning experiences. Something like a break up, for instance. That's not necessarily you receiving bad karma, it could be for the greater good. Maybe it happened to teach you to love yourself and that you deserve better than what you had!
Still, you're going to have much more good energy if that's what you're putting out. Many more good experiences and people in your life. Likewise with bad energy. And if you're treating people badly, people will treat you badly. Maybe not until much later, but it will happen.
It's so strange to me that people can't grasp the concept of karma. Do I still put out bad energy? Sometimes. I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I'm some sort of saint. Sometimes I lose my cool. Sometimes I say things I don't mean. Sometimes I yell. Sometimes (very rarely) I say things to people with the intent to hurt them. And, sometimes I even judge people.
These things still happen - sometimes. And I always, always feel bad afterward. I'm still trying to change all that, but I'm not perfect and occasionally these things slip. Apologizing makes a difference, if you mean it, and if you try to change. I'm getting there.
I've gotten much better, but there's always room for improvement, no matter who you are.

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