Saturday, June 8, 2013

Why I'm not (and never would) fake a pregnancy.

I'm growing very tired of hearing day after day how I'm apparently faking this pregnancy. In order to do so, I would have had to walk into an OB's office on TWO separate occasions and been like, "hey doc, wanna throw a picture of a fetus up there and put my information on it?" I wouldn't have wasted $20 on a belly band, wouldn't have bought any baby items. To be faking this I'd have to have forced myself to puke regularly for the last twenty weeks. I'd also have some weird, swelling tumor in my abdomen considering I've lost weight and my stomach is now protruding quite noticeably. I have my paperwork, I have my ultrasounds, I have my appointment cards, I have my midwife and my plans on where I'm having this baby, we have his name picked out, we have a double stroller, we have a car seat, we have a bouncer, we have binkies, teething rings, etc. So why have all of this if we only have a two year old and no bun in the oven? It's getting a tad ridiculous, especially now that I'm being accused of faking it to "hold -- down." Can I roll my eyes on the internet?

Well, onto the point of this post. I would never, ever fake a pregnancy, for many reasons.

Reason #1: There are many women in the world who cannot get pregnant, and who want a baby of their own more than anything in the world. Women who would gladly take my still-raging morning sickness, hormones, round ligament pain and heartburn to be able to grow their baby within themselves. I know some of these women personally, I've seen them cry, I've seen their hearts ache every time a friend falls pregnant. It is offensive to them, and to myself, to fake something as sacred, as beautiful as pregnancy.

Reason #2: Karma. I am a firm believer in karma and no, I don't need it to come bite me in the ass anymore. I've made my fair share of bad decisions, as everyone has, and I don't feel the need to make more. Nothing good comes from lies.

Reason #3: Are you kidding? I'd look so ridiculous come October if I didn't have a baby in my arms. Really, how long would it take for someone to catch on? "Oh remember how you were pregnant two years ago? Whatever happened to that?" No thanks, I don't really like ridicule.

Reason #4: This baby was a surprise. We didn't plan him because quite simply, we didn't feel ready just yet. Everyone knew we weren't trying for a baby until Noah was at least 3 and a half. Other people knew we weren't ready. Wouldn't it be foolish to put us through all that judgement, for something that wasn't real or true?

Reason #5: I know many women who have lost their babies. The wounds are still fresh in their minds, it still hurts them and it would be absolutely horrible of me to remind them that there are women having successful pregnancies if I weren't really pregnant. What a cruel, heartless joke...

Reason #6: Faking a pregnancy is flat out stupid. If you think you're gonna continue to convince people throughout the next nine months, let alone afterward when you should have a baby in your arms, you're not the brightest crayon in the box. Most women (there may be some exceptions, I'm not sure) cannot physically make themselves appear to be 40 weeks pregnant. That is a lot of uterus, baby and amniotic fluid to account for.

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