Tuesday, January 7, 2014

You Might be a Crunchy Mama if...

  • You use cloth diapers
  • You have a slight obsession with essential oils
  • You know that raw garlic is a potent antibiotic
  • You're totally cool with breastfeeding for longer than a year
  • You're very proud of your 4 year old who is still rear facing
  • You're all for home births
  • You prefer midwives to OBs
  • You make your own baby food
  • (or practice Baby Led Weaning)
  • Your baby wears an amber necklace for teething
  • You wear an amber necklace/bracelet for various aches and pains
  • Instead of reflux meds you successfully use hazelwood necklaces for you &/or your baby
  • You know what mama cloth is
  • You delay or skip vaccinations
  • You call yourself a lactivist
  • You call yourself an intactivist
  • You know what unassisted childbirth is
  • You encapsulated your placenta
  • (or made a smoothie or just flat out ate it)
  • You've watched The Business Of Being Born repeatedly
  • You know who Ina May Gaskin is
  • You love your doula
  • You love everything organic
  • You still buy wooden toys for your kiddos
  • You have a nice stash of vitamins
  • You love babywearing
  • You made your own cloth baby wipes and wipe solution
  • You know what Sophie the Giraffe is for
  • You made or bought reusable nursing pads
  • You put your essential oils in everything
  • You know coconut oil is great for literally everything
  • You have Dr. Bronner's Castile Soap in your bathroom right now
  • You make your own toothpaste
  • You regard artificial dyes as the plague
  • You have your placenta in the freezer so you can plant it in the spring
  • You grow your own veggies and fruits
  • You homeschool
  • You gave birth in your living room (on purpose)

My boss at CVS actually used to refer to me as his "hippy employee" because I told people about natural alternatives (like Hyland's Teething Tablets instead of Motrin, because Hyland's is homeopathic and not loaded with crap) and because I refused to push vaccines and because I'm a birth doula and because I frequently wore my son in a ring sling when I shopped there. Everyone I know sort of views me as the "hippy mom" but, I'm pretty okay with this.

And, a final note, this is not to bash anyone's parenting, and this is not intended to say that crunchy moms do ALL of this. It's a post made in fun and good humor. :)

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