36 weeks!

Well, we're 36 weeks along today! That means just four short weeks until my due date, and just 28 days. Where has the time gone?!

This week, Sparrow is the size of a honeydew melon. He's about 18.7in long and about 5.8lbs. If he were to be born right now, he probably would be able to breathe on his own - but I'm not interested in finding that out, I'll take the four more weeks for his lungs to mature. His gums are rigid, and his liver and kidneys are in working order... that is, until he gets to college. Thankfully that's a long way away, though. His circulation and immune system are also "basically good to go", but like I said, I would rather wait to find out. Most of his bones are completely hardened, aside from his skull, which will remain softer and in pieces to fit through the birth canal. His muscle tone is improving greatly as well! My little strong man! I still feel like crap and I'm getting more emotional by the day - I cried because my camera cord was in a different place than where I left it today... The heartburn is getting worse and half the time it feels like my hips have tow straps attached to them and are being pulled apart by monster trucks... but like I keep saying, it's worth it. Last night I had contractions for two and a half hours and literally told my fetus that he can't come out yet because I'm busy this week, I've got shit to do! That and our last six diapers haven't even arrived yet.

It's such a bittersweet feeling, knowing the final weeks are upon us. There's the happy stuff - the baby will be here, my clothes will fit soon, I'll be more comfortable, I can go in a hot tub, I can sleep on my stomach! And then there's the kind of sad stuff - no more baby kicks, no relaxation knowing he's automatically fed and provided the nutrients he needs straight through his umbilical cord, no more belly table or beautiful pregnancy silhouette. It's really just the strangest feeling, it's just like my last month of pregnancy with Noah... it's like a twilight in your life, a strange, beautiful and surreal period of time. So many feelings and thoughts, so many dreams. Uncertainty and excitement, joy, fear, love. From how you feel physically to how you feel emotionally, it's so back and forth and polar opposites at the same time, and it's just chaotically, strangely beautiful - just like the twilight hour.

This part isn't a pregnancy update, but I wanted to take a moment to say how grateful I am to be able to have a happy and healthy pregnancy, and to have healthy babies. I'm grateful to even be able to carry a child and create life, there are so many women who deserve to be able to do the very same and they cannot. It's a wonderful experience, it's beautiful and empowering. There's nothing in the world like it. There's no bond like pregnancy, after all, like the quote goes - your children are the only ones who know what your heart sounds like from the inside.

Life is good.