Friday, May 31, 2013

It's All About The Angle

The side pictures are Le Fetus and the middle is Noah. I'm definitely bigger this time around, lol, but I weigh roughly the same in all three pictures (113lbs). It's about the angle though. Noah's 19 week photo was taken straight on, while Le Fetus' were take from an angle slightly higher, and with me standing at an angle instead of completely sideways. I like doing comparison shots between the two of 'em though. It's nice to check out the differences in my size, how I'm carrying, etc.
I remember having absolutely NO lingering morning sickness by now with Noah and it makes me kind of sad that I still have it this time around :( All worth it in the end, though!

Nineteen Weeks

This is 19 weeks with baby #2! I was this big around 21/22 weeks with Noah Bug<3

Pregnancy VS Baby Being Here

Some days I feel like this pregnancy is dragging, and I find myself counting down the months, weeks and days until my little monkey is in my arms, meeting his or her new family and big brother. And then other days I feel like it’s flying by! I haven’t really been taking the time to sit back, relax and enjoy being pregnant. Not that it’s been entirely easy to, I’m 19w2d and still sick as a dog haha, but pregnancy is still a beautiful, wonderful experience. I mean, think about it. You’re creating another human being. A little body graced with a soul that some believe specifically chose YOU to be it’s mother. Others believe babies are given to parents who can teach them the lessons they, specifically, need to learn. Others still think there’s nothing special behind it, it’s just the baby you made. Whatever you believe, you’re creating a little being with an intricate nervous system, intertwining blood vessels, a brain that you can help mold so your little one can grow up to be a wonderous individual. Your body is making this from a microscopic sperm and egg! That in itself is incredible. There is little out there more beautiful than a woman during pregnancy. There is also very little out there that’s more rewarding than being able to create and carry this little baby, give birth and raise it to adulthood. So while my due date still seems so far away, I’m going to take some time each day to sit back and reflect on and appreciate this pregnancy. I may complain about the aches and pains, the nausea and discomfort, but I’m grateful to be able to experience these things because there are all too many women out there who cannot, and wish they could.
This week, I’m feeling much better. I’ve been without my Sea Bands for about 4 days and the morning sickness at night is still almost unbearable but getting better. I learned that the baby pretty much throws it’s own little rave in utero when I listen to dubstep, and seems to calm down or maybe even fall asleep when I turn on Queen or Bon Jovi. It’s alright though, I have plenty of time to instill a love of good music in the bubs. (S)he also only kicks for daddy’s hand haha, the second I put MY hand there it stops entirely. I believe the baby is now the size of a mango! And if we’re measuring head to foot instead of CRL it’s about ten inches long :3

Eighteen Weeks!

And here’s 18 weeks! (and one day, haha) We had a check-up at the new OB yesterday. Baby is strong and active! It hates the doppler so every time the doctor moved it over the baby it kicked it and moved to the other side, ended up taking nearly ten minutes to find the heartbeat lol. Noah was just staring, going, “Ah! That’s my baby, mama! My baby!” And the doctor says “It sounds just like a choo-choo, right?” And Noah gave him a dirty look and goes, “No. It’s my baby.” It was the funniest thing ever haha. Heartbeat is nice and strong too! We get to find out if Le Fetus is a boy or a girl in two weeks! I’m so excited! I don’t think I updated but last week Le Fetus’ daddy felt the baby from the outside. It was such an awesome moment :) Noah likes to snuggle up with it and nap and it’s adorable. That’s all for now, guys! I have a two year old to entertain!

Seventeen Weeks!

Hello 17 weeks! I think I’m finally reaching the point in pregnancy where I can be comfortable. Woot! The baby moves more and more every day :) I’m still wearing my Sea Bands fairly often but I can go extended periods of time without them now. Curtis thinks it’s all in my head, but whether it is or not, they help! All I’ve been craving consistently is plain cream cheese and salads with shredded cheese and LOTS of Italian dressing. Not together, of course, but these are the only cravings that have been consistent throughout the pregnancy. You know what sucks? Only having boobies when I’m knocked up or nursing, haha. I’m still working on getting my energy back though, nothing like a rambunctious two year old 24/7 and a three year old I babysit 4 times a week to help a fetus suck the life outta ya! It’s worth it though. I get all the benefits of being a SAHM and still getting a paycheck, booyah! And the little boy I watch is the sweetest, and he’s Noah’s best friend! It’s a win-win. I like it. 
The fetus (or sikiƶ - which I think I’ve mentioned is “the fetus” in Finnish and what I call the baby) is now roughly the size of an onion CRL and nearly half a foot long. We’re doing some serious growing, guys. Sikiƶ’s limbs are now nearly proportionate as well! He or she is now capable of hearing (or in the process of being able to hear, anyway) so it’s able to hear my voice and heartbeat/etc. 
I’m still waiting on insurance so y’all can know if it’s a boy or a girl, I’m sure you’re almost as excited as we are!
And, now that I’ve magically been gaining followers, feel free to leave questions in my Ask or topics you want me to blog about. It’s nice to see other people interested! :)

Mother's Day

This one is for every mama. The soon-to-be mamas, the TTC mamas, the loss mamas, the mamas with babies too little to tell them happy mother’s day, the mamas who are far from their babies right now, the mamas with babies in the NICU, for single mamas or mamas of babies with special needs, every mama.
You are a strong and beautiful human being. You carried a baby inside you for months (nine of them if you carried to term!) and you delivered that baby. Whether vaginally or by C-section, natural, with pain meds or induced. You have created a life, maybe multiple lives! You’re raising a child, you’re building his morals and values. You’re teaching him right from wrong. More likely than not you’re giving it your full potential! You have in your hands the opportunity to mold your child’s mind and help create the person she will become. You are amazing for all of this. Don’t ever let anybody get you down. Today is YOUR day, and I hope you all had a great one :) Enjoy your little one’s smiles and snuggles today, and most of all, sit back and relax!

Sixteen Weeks!

I’m slowly but surely becoming less nauseous. I can even take my Sea Bands off during the day now, I just need them at night when the nausea is worse. Noah wanted to take a picture with the baby and his new big boy undies and this is what we ended up with :) He’s such a cutie pie. I can definitely feel the baby moving now, and usually I can feel it better when I lay on my back. This is what makes it all so real! Noah will tell you he has a baby too, but it’s different than mommy’s because there are two and it’s a boy and a girl. He named them both Rella. He names everything after Cinderella because it’s his favorite movie but he can’t pronounce it, so all his dolls are named Rella haha. He tries to feed the baby through my belly and he kisses it and hugs it and tells it “love you!” a million times a day. He loves the baby already! I’m still worried about him being jealous of the baby though, or feeling not loved because he won’t have my 100% focus. :( I’m hoping we get through without too many bumps along the way.

Just got back from a birth yesterday...

A client I had, had her baby early yesterday morning. It was a very hard induction, lots and lots of massage and the tennis ball technique and words of encouragement. After 11 and a half hours of pitocin-induced labor she got her epidural. She unfortunately stopped progressing and, 18 hours from the start of labor, she was prepped for her C-section. 30 minutes later she returned with the most precious, teeny tiny little boy! I was so grateful to be part of this experience, and so happy to have been able to help her through so much. As she got settled in, they handed her her little boy, and, sitting quietly in a chair in the corner of the room, I got to watch a new mother’s first precious moments with her baby. You could see the awe, the joy and the pride in her eyes as she met her baby for the first time, and in that moment I remembered exactly why I do this. It’s hard work, it’s lack of sleep, it’s a lot of patience, but it is hands down the most beautiful thing you will ever witness. It only happens once, the first meeting between mother and child, and to be privileged enough to be able to see that first hand is truly a blessing. I was away from my son for over 24 hours, and I missed him so much, but it was worth it. After witnessing such beautiful moments, I got to return to my own first love, and remember what it was like meeting him for the first time. The world stops, everything is quiet, nothing in the universe matters except for that little 6 or 7 pound baby in your arms. The look in your baby’s eyes as he’s drinking in the world around him, the feeling that washes over you as you realize that you created this little bundle of absolute perfection.
She did not get the birth she wanted. She wanted to avoid a C-section. But everything was okay when they put her baby in her arms. I imagine it was much the same for her, when she held him. It didn’t matter anymore how they got here, what led them here. What mattered was that now they were here, together. And when he latched on, you could see the pride in her eyes. She may not have birthed him the way she planned, but she was content in the fact that she was able to feed him what she felt was best, and she’s now able to have that experience with him for as long as they choose.
You never forget the love and the pride in a mother’s eyes when she holds and meets her baby for the first time. That’s what makes this “job” - and I use the term loosely, because I love it far too much to call it just a job - worth it. That is what makes me want to advance further and one day become a midwife. You don’t know true love and beauty until you witness life’s greatest miracle. <3

And we're officially 15 weeks!

I’m finally starting to feel a little bit better. And a lotta bit bigger. I feel pretty huge. Ah, well. I haven’t gained back to my pre pregnancy weight yet, though. I just have lots of belly to go around! We’re thinking of scheduling the anatomy scan at the end of next week, only because it puts me closer to 17 weeks and I’d like to be as far into the pregnancy as possible when I find out. I’ll be losing my Aetna through CVS soon though because the 26th was my last day there, so I want to get the scan before I no longer have insurance. Fingers crossed for a girl after all Le Fetus has put me through so far!
I’m so craving mashed potatoes… and I have been since before I knew I was pregnant. One of my best friends made me homemade mashed potatoes with homemade butter today, and oh my god they are the best thing ever! I was eating them all day at work :3 Things are going good, finally. I’m very thankful. :)


This freaking sucks sometimes, haha. I get headaches nearly every day and they last allllll day. Tylenol doesn’t touch it and I can’t take Advil. Boo. Going for two walks a day exhausts me and I’m not even big yet! It helps to remind myself that I just entered the second trimester and the annoyances of the first trimester don’t stop the day you hit fourteen weeks (unfortunately!).
So when people ask me how I’m feeling, I smile and say kindly, “Oh, I’m great! I’m so excited!” while on the inside it’s more “Well my head hurts, I can’t go to the bathroom, I spend most nights with a bucket next to my head or going from the bathroom to the couch because my morning sickness hasn’t let up. People want to touch my barely there belly, I can’t eat at night without getting sick. Great!”
But really? The belly touching thing? That’s gotta stop. It’s okay if I know you and if I’m past twenty weeks so there’s a legitimate belly to touch and little kicks to feel, but if another stranger asks to feel my more-bloat-than-baby bump I might punch someone in the teeth.

Fourteen Weeks

This is 14 weeks. The baby is roughly the size of a lemon and upon telling Noah this, he decided to carry one everywhere that day. It was adorable!

Why We Are Having A Homebirth (And Why I Am A Birth Doula)

I had my own reasons for wanting a homebirth with Noah, but this isn’t about those. This is why I’m determined to have a homebirth this time around.
When I ended up giving birth to my son in the hospital, the ten minutes I was there were awful. I felt extremely violated and disrespected due to my age. They acted like I knew nothing, like I had done no research and like it was okay for them to bully me. They told me I NEEDED to have an epidural because I “couldn’t handle it.” I said “For the last 28 and a half hours I HAVE handled it, with no epidural, no pain medicine, nothing. Don’t tell me I can’t handle it.” They told me I couldn’t push because I wasn’t dilated and didn’t know what to do. A nurse checked me after I pushed and said “Oh, she is a full 10.” I was still told I couldn’t push because I didn’t know how. I pushed one more time and they said if I didn’t get him out next push I would need an emergency C-section because it was taking too long. At this point I’d been at the hospital for less than ten minutes and I’d only pushed two times. I literally told them to fuck off because they obviously didn’t know what they were talking about. I asked if the baby was in distress and they told me he wasn’t but I was just taking too long. After refusing the C-section they argued with me saying I would need the forceps to help him out because I didn’t know what to do or how to push. The doctor said I needed an episiotomy and I told her not to cut me because I would rather tear naturally than be cut. She said okay, and then cut me anyway. Afterward she says “I just gave you an episiotomy to help the baby out.” I pushed once more and he was out. They handed him to me and then took him away after I delivered my placenta and I couldn’t nurse him for nearly an hour after specifically requesting to nurse him immediately. 
It was as if I knew nothing and my requests meant nothing because I was eighteen years old, what could I possibly know? I didn’t ask for anything extreme, nothing that could hurt the baby or myself and nothing that would make their job too hard.
My midwife respects my choices, my decisions and my beliefs. She does not look down on me for becoming a mother at eighteen or for having another child at 21. She helps me research, she helps me make decisions when I ask her to. She’s always there to give me advice and she’s always available to answer my calls or e-mails. She makes me feel empowered in my birth choices and my birth experience and that is something I feel every woman should have.
It is for the same reasons that I became a birth doula. A woman’s beliefs and rights and choices should be respected during labor, regardless of age, as long as it’s doing no harm to the baby. Being eighteen doesn’t mean you’re ignorant. You could be thirty and have no idea what you’re talking about and you have a better shot at being listened to by your doctors. My goal as a birth doula is to make birth a wonderful and happy memory. I will not speak for you. I will not make your decisions. But I will support your decisions and help you to reach them if you’d like. It’s your birth and it should make you happy.


We’ve been toying with names for weeks and weeks now.
If this baby is a girl, her first name is set: Aftyn. 
Her middle name has been more of a challenge. We both want Jane in her name, for my mom and my grandma. But I really like how Aftyn Skye looks/sounds. He’s also set on a daughter having two middle names because Noah does (Noah Andrew Anthony). 
For a boy, we’ve been playing with Gage, Silas, Ari and I have been trying like hell to get him to jump on board with Finn. I really like Silas Zachary, though. Ah, well, we’ll see! We have nearly two months before we find out the gender anyway.
And as far as that’s concerned - I think it’s a girl. Noah was such an easy pregnancy, no issues. Barely any morning sickness, no breakouts, no ridiculous mood swings (okay, okay… I cried over the lack of powdered donuts pretty often. But shh!). I wasn’t crazy bloated with him and I didn’t have ten thousand food aversions. I just couldn’t stand the sight, smell or taste of Ramen noodles. So I’m willing to put money on Le Fetus being a girl. :b

Well, I Feel Like Dying

I’m literally a day away from my second trimester… and the morning sickness is STILL killing me. I can’t function in the evening or even eat. I’m still constantly tired, as if I haven’t slept for two years. It’s rough, man. I can’t feel the baby yet, so that makes me a little sad too. But I expect nothing until about 16 weeks.
Anyway, I absolutely cannot wait until I start to feel better and have a bit of energy. Oh, and to look pregnant, rather than chubby. Haha! Noah talks to “his” baby every day, and has taken to telling people HE has a baby in HIS belly. He says it’s two babies, one boy and one girl. It’s pretty adorbz. He has his baby doll named Rella (he names all his dolls Rella because he can’t pronounce Cinderella and that’s his favorite movie). He rocks her, nurses her, tucks her into bed with him, and snuggles with her all the time. We can’t leave the house without her! It makes me wonder how he’ll be with the new baby :)

12 Weeks!

This Was My 10 Week Bloat :b

“I love you for all that you are, all that you have been, and all that you will be.”

I Got My Camera!

“Mommy stop it!”
Bug has had enough pictures today! Haha, but what a cute subject to take pictures of! You’ll thank me when you’re older, babyman. :)

Le Fetus at eight weeks!

Fooooooood. Eleven Weeks.

Tomorrow I will officially be eleven weeks, and Le Fetus will be roughly the size of a lime! Her skin is see-through and her fingers and toes are no longer webbed, she’s finally starting to look like a baby and is wiggling around like it’s her job (but no, I can’t really feel it yet!). 
I’m starting to feel better, for the middle of the day anyway. I’m still super sick late at night and in the morning.
I absolute hate tacos now. I saw a Taco Bell commercial yesterday that nearly induced vomiting. Just the thought of tacos makes me want to throw up. I know, I know, WHO AM I? I also can no longer stand any kind of fast food. Burger King, Wendy’s and McDonald’s all make me feel absolutely terrible. This probably is a blessing in disguise, and hey, maybe I’ll have a baby who likes healthy food? But the biggest surprise here is my sudden hatred for bacon. I went to Subway today for a Veggie and smelled bacon, and started gagging. Me? Hate bacon? It’s like I’m possessed!
I need hot dogs though! And those aren’t healthy. We’re planning chili dogs tonight and I’m soooo looking forward to it. Hot dog with relish, ketchup and a pickle spear - my mouth is watering just thinking about it! And I love fruit with cheddar cheese. Grapes, raspberries, bananas, and orange slices, sandwiched between two slices of cheddar cheese, oh man. Best thing ever!

Belly Dancing Through Labor

This is a very interesting method of coping with labor that I had not learned about previously. Lately I’ve been studying up on pain management techniques so that during this labor there may be less:

1. Profanity
2. Vulgarity
3. Frustration
4. Screaming

I’d like this birth to be much more peaceful than my last. The one single regret I have about Noah’s birth is that I told my midwife I didn’t think I was really in labor. This was true, I thought that since the last two times I went into labor were because of the snow storms, this was the same thing. I was wrong.
With Noah I yelled at the EMTs who were only trying to help me, threatened a police officer, screamed and cursed (a lot) and I feel like much of it could have been avoided had I used pain management techniques. I had been supplied with some too, but never bothered really delving into them or practicing. 
This time around I’ve looked briefly into hypnobirthing, breathing techniques, etc. but I think I’m pretty set on laboring and possibly birthing in the water, but I’ve really been considering belly dancing as well. The movements in your hips are supposed to help you through contractions and give you something to focus on rather than the pain of the contraction. The swaying and crescent and figure eight movements are what are supposed to do the trick. According to anthropologist Sheila Kitzinger, belly dancing originated as a childbirth ritual.
I’m off to do some more research, I’ll get back to you guys on Wednesday :)

Six Weeks

I have no pictures yet, nor do I have much of anything. I’m only six weeks and two days along right now, and things are still hush hush. No pregnancy announcement on Facebook, Twitter or any social networking site. This is password protected until I reach ten weeks and tell the world! Mwahaha. 
Anyway, we weren’t trying to have a baby. We wanted to TTC a little after Noah turned three and we were more settled, but I guess fate had a different plan for us. The last two weeks have been a battle, combating morning sickness and fatigue, loss of sleep, loss of appetite and caring for a rambunctious two year old. I imagine the next few weeks will go quite unchanged, but hopefully getting better as I enter my second trimester.
This pregnancy is quite different from Noah. I have headaches that could knock out an elephant, and I’m sick all day. I actually bought ginger gum, Sea Bands, peppermint Tummy Drops and Earth Mama Angel Baby Morning Wellness tea to help ease the morning sickness. I remember my pregnancy with Noah being far easier. I’m bloated and I’m moody and I’m craving everything under the sun. I can smell EVERYTHING. I can smell my customers at work… yeah, try keeping nausea at bay when you can smell the people who walk into my CVS. Ugh.
I’m due October 23rd. I have a good feeling about this one, because that’s my grandmother and little brother’s birthday. We’re all very excited. Noah loves to talk to, rub, kiss and read to my belly. Curtis is ecstatic about adding another munchkin to our family. He wants a boy, I want a girl but I’m perfectly content either way, as long as he or she is happy and healthy.
I think this essay of a blog entry is sufficient for the first post, so with that, good night and sleep well!