I'm worried... and blessed.

I'm worried beyond belief although everything should be okay. My greatest fear in this pregnancy and in my last was going into labor before we reached viability, and yesterday's scare and the fact that I'm essentially on bedrest just makes that fear so much more real. I'm trying to relax, to keep calm and just take it easy. 

There's only so much to do on the computer and there's nothing on TV, my house is clean, Noah's clean and fed. I've already showered. There's nothing left to do. I want to go for a walk more than anything but I'm not going to, because what matters more? A 30 minute walk or a healthy baby? The answer is obvious. 

I'm 21w2d (21w3d by my new due date) and I have about 3 weeks until we reach viability - a big goal. I have three main goals in pregnancy:

1. Fourteen weeks. Once you reach your second trimester your chances of carrying to term skyrocket.
2. Twenty-four weeks. This is when you reach viability. At this point, all will be done to help your baby survive if you go into labor and they're unable to stop it. At 24 weeks the baby's chance of survival is 39% and at 25 weeks it shoots up to 50%.
3. Forty weeks. This is considered full term (though due dates can be off up to 2 weeks in either direction, so 38-42 weeks could also be "full term").

I would much rather go overdue than have any of my babies prematurely. I don't wish for any of my babies to come before their due date, no matter how uncomfortable I may be. That's the whole point of being a mama - you sacrifice for your littles. When we chose to keep the baby, I made the decision to sacrifice my own comfort to keep this baby safe. If I couldn't do that, I wouldn't get pregnant.

I just want more than anything for Asher to stay put until the end of October. I want him to grow big and healthy. Of course we want to meet him but it's way too soon to meet him right now. Even at 23 weeks a baby's chances of survival are only 17%.

Even with these issues, I'm reminded every day that I'm blessed to even be able to carry a baby. I know so many women who can't even get pregnant, who have been trying for years to get pregnant with no luck. I'll take bedrest over not being able to conceive any day. I'm so lucky to have a healthy two year old and I hope to have an equally healthy baby boy in October, no sooner! So please, baby boy, just stay in there. Keep baking, bubba! You need to get big and strong like your big brother! <3

*Edit made for me by a BG mama :)